好小子们

-我可能只有一个免赔额 -没关系
– I think I only have a deductible. – It’s all right.
这种事经常在综合格斗运动员身上发生
This happens to MMA fighters all the time.
我们只要用力将你的胳膊撞到某个东西上
We just got to ram your arm into something very hard
它就能回到原位
so it pops back in place.
好 去他的 早痛早好
Fine! Fuck it! Let’s just get this over with.
来吧 放松 好
Come on. Easy. All right.
一 二 三
One, two, three.
撞错胳膊了
Wrong arm!
换一页 换一页
Okay, new site, new site. Okay.
平躺下来 把你的胳膊给我
Okay, lie down on your back and give me your arm.
来
Come on.
上面说接下来会很疼
All right. It says this next part’s gonna hurt,
你最好用力咬着硬一点的东西
that you should bite down on something hard.
我知道了
I know.
张开嘴 走你
Open. There you go.
好了 数到三
Okay. On three.
一 二 三
One, two, three.
-收到一条泰勒的信息 -她说什么
– Just got a text from Taylor. – What’d she say?
她想知道你为什么没去上学
She wants to know why you aren’t in school
还有你今晚去不去派对
and if you’re coming to the party tonight.
你就回
Just write…
对不起 一 二 三
Okay, sorry. One, two, three!
我来帮忙 我来帮忙
Let me help, let me help.
再来 数到三
Focus! On three.
一 二 三
one! Two! Three!
我可不觉得这玩意儿有用
I didn’t think that’d actually work.
你会没事的 哥们
You’re gonna be good, man.
不 我有事
No. I’m really not.
我父母要离婚了
My parents are getting a divorce.
你干了什么好事
What’d you do?
-索尔 -怎么了嘛
– Thor! – What?
对不起
Sorry.
我爸爸要搬走了
My dad’s moving out.
不管你父母之间发生了什么
Whatever happens between your parents,
沙包男孩永远陪着你
you always got the Bean Bag Boys.
我们永远不会分开 沙包男孩一辈子
We’ll never split up. Bean Bag Boys for life.
你保证吗
You promise?
我保证
Promise.
来吧 给你搞点儿童退烧药
Come on. Let’s get you some Children’s Tylenol.
-需要帮忙吗 伙计 -不用 我可以的
– Want some help, buddy? – No, I got it.
行吧 你来呗
Okay, just do it.
-迈尔斯 -你好啊 哥们
– Hey, Miles. – Hey, man.
-上班还是下班啊 -刚刚轮完三班
– Coming in or coming off? – Just got off a triple.
哥们 被抢劫我都不在乎了
Man, I don’t care if I get mugged.
我今天再也不想写什么报告了
I’m not typing up any more paper work today.
警♥察♥
Cop.
见鬼 我们身上有毒品
Shit. We have D-R-U-G-S on us.
他知道怎么拼毒品 表现自然点就行了
He knows how to spell. Just act normal.
-假装我们在聊天 -聊什么啊
– Pretend to talk. – About what?
看起来正常点就是了
Just be normal.
你对当今政♥治♥有什么看法吗
What do you think about politics?
这是一个复杂的问题
It’s a complicated issue.
那个警♥察♥感觉很奇怪
This cop’s acting weird.
他在视奸我们
He’s eye-fucking us.
正常点就行了 假笑吧
Just act normal. Just laugh.
我们只是两个很酷的家伙在笑而已
We’re just two cool guys laughing.
我们逃学了
We skipped school.
卢卡斯
Lucas!
我们有麻烦了吗
Are we in trouble?
好吧 通常我会上报此事
Yeah, well, usually, I’d call this in,
但鉴于你们很诚实
but because you were honest with me,
我就放过你们了 好吗
I’m gonna let you slide, all right?
答应我不要再这样了 好吗
Just promise not to do it again, okay?
-我们保证 谢谢你 先生 -好了
– We promise. Thank you, sir. – All right.
差点完了
That was a close one.
等等 索尔在哪
Wait, where’s Thor?
别动
Hold it.
过来
Come here.
你裤子里有什么
What do you have in your pants?
我的屌♥
My penis.
拔♥出♥来♥
Pull it out.
不过我确实有个大屌♥
I also have a big dick.
放回去 我今天很慷慨
Put it back. I’m being generous today.
-我们还有毒品 -你是猪队友吗
– We also have drugs. – Dude!
他盯上我们了
He was onto us.
好吧 你有什么
Okay, what do you have?
附表一上的管制物品 并且蓄意传播
Schedule I controlled substance, with intent to distribute.
兄弟 这些是维生素
Brother, these are vitamins, okay?
儿童维生素 好吗
Children’s vitamins, at that.
-不 那是毒品 -不 看
– No, those are drugs. – No, look.
如果那是毒品 那么这也是毒品了
If that’s drugs, then this is drugs, too.
如果你不逮捕我们 我就举报你
If you don’t arrest us, I’ll report you.
卢卡斯
Lucas!
你们他妈的放过我吧
Just leave me the fuck alone!
我是说 很抱歉他妈的
I mean, sorry to fucking
对孩子爆粗 但去他妈的
swear at kids, but fuck.
你知道吗 我要逮捕你们
You know, I’m gonna arrest you
因为你们他妈的毁了我的一天
for fucking ruining my day.
好吗 我没收了 让我回家吧
All right? I’ll take them. Let me go home!
他在呼叫支援 我们该怎么办
He’s calling for backup. What do we do?
听着 我已经决定不想要孩子了
Hello. Listen. I’ve decided I don’t want kids.
-怎么了 -那警♥察♥盯上我们了
– What’s up? – The cop’s eye-fucking us.
-我们得赶紧跑 -我知道该怎么办了
– We have to make a run for it. – I know what to do.
好吧 不 这没有商量的余地
Well, no, it’s not up for discu…
不 你是警探 可能官比我大
Well, no, you may be detective,
但在婚姻中我们是平等的
but in the marriage we’re equal.
什么 挂我电♥话♥ 谁在乎呢
Wha… Just hang up. Who cares?
这是免费的 因为我是警♥察♥
This is free ’cause I’m a cop.
什么鬼 索尔
What the fuck, Thor?
你根本不在意我肩膀的伤
You didn’t even care about my shoulder.
你满脑子都是啤酒
You just wanted a beer.
我可以同时在乎两件事啊
I can care about two things.
是啊 你和你的蠢啤酒
Yeah, you and your stupid beer!
现在我们是逃犯了
Now we’re fugitives!
你喊那么大声干什么嘛
Why are you yelling at me?
我连自行车都没骑就跑出来了
I just ran off without my family’s bikes.
-骑车周日真操蛋 -各位 各位
– Cycle Sundays are fucked! – Guys, guys.
商场
The mall!
太好了 我们成功了
Yes! Yes! We made it!
太好了
Yes!
快点 快点 快点
Come on, come on, come on.
-该死 -神他妈
– Oh, shit. – Holy mother…
该死
Goddamn it!
太好了 现在我们被困在
Great. Now we’re trapped
高速公路和警♥察♥之间了
between a highway and the authorities.
如果你不充当缉毒警♥察♥的话
We wouldn’t be in this position right
我们现在也不会落得此般境地
now if you weren’t such a narc.
各位 商场就在那里
Guys, the mall’s right there.
我们只要穿过公路
All we have to do is cross the highway,
而且现在车都堵得动不了
and the cars aren’t even moving.
现在 我们是五年级的怂逼
Now, are we fifth-graders,
还是六年级的壮汉啊
or are we sixth-graders?
好了 我要回树林里去
Well, I’m going back into the woods.
我靠雨水和松鼠也能活
I’ll live off of rainwater and squirrels.
我一点也不在乎
I don’t give a fuck.
不 你活不了
Uh, no, you won’t.
-老天啊 -不 不
– Oh, my gosh! – No, no.
这就像个停车场 明白吗
It’s like a parking lot, see?
等等 你又偷了一瓶啤酒吗
Wait! You stole another beer?
-什么鬼 索尔 -你们两个又不是
– What the fuck, Thor? – Hey. You guys aren’t the ones