I’m enjoying this.
你们社给了你一个大版面
Wow. They really gave you a lot of space.
见鬼 又被我弄死了
Oh, damn. Killed another one.
花花草草都养不活
How am I ever supposed to take care of
怎么能养育孩子呢
A kid if I can’t even keep a plant alive?
你还想要什么 老兄
Well, what’d you expect, man?
你买♥♥了个房♥子 还是个带客房♥的
You bought a house- A house with a spare room.
带客房♥的怎么啦
What’s the matter with a spare room?
太空荡了 就是这问题 约翰
It’s empty, John, that’s what’s wrong with it.
你知道还有啥是空的吗
You know what else is empty?
老婆的子♥宫♥
Her womb.
我只是担心珍妮的第7步 -什么
I’m just worried that Jenny’s at, like, step seven. – What?
她把人生都计划好了
She’s got her whole life organized and planned out…
通过步骤来实施 -那挺恐怖的
According to these steps. – Okay, that’s scary.
难以置信 -我的建议是 让她养只小鸟
Unbelievable. – You want my advice? Get her, like, a bird.
小狗之类的
Or a puppy or something.
诸如马尾鹦鹉之类的
A parakeet or something?
除你以外需要她照顾的活物
Something other than you that she has to take care of.
生了孩子 你就是爸 不再有自己的生活了
You got a kid, you’re a dad. You’re not you anymore.
有了条狗 你就是 -主人
You got a dog, you’re a- – Master.
还算个男人 -还能享受生活
You’re still a guy. – Still got a life.
完全正确 -养条狗
Exactly. – And a dog.
就可以让她的计划暂停一段时间
Yeah, but you’ve stopped her clock for a few years.
我从未养过狗 -没啥难的 喂食
I’ve never had a dog. – There’s nothin’ to it. You feed ’em.
带狗狗遛弯 时而放它们出门就可以
You walk ’em. You let ’em out every now and again.
但最主要的是
But it doesn’t really matter.
不是让你去养他 交给珍妮
You’re not the one that’s gonna take care of it, Jenny is.
塞巴斯蒂安 -在
Sebastian! – Yo.
你出差被批准了 上路吧
Your travel’s been approved. Hit the road.
你要去哪儿 -哥伦比亚
Where you goin’? – I’m going to Colombia.
我认识一个伙计
I got a guy down there says
他能安排我接近巴勃罗·埃斯科瓦尔[大毒枭]
he can put me next to Pablo Escobar.
我要写篇专题
I’m doin’ a piece
从雨林到迈阿密一路追踪毒品交易
I follow a single coca leaf from the jungle to the streets of miami.
听上去是个好创意 要当心啊
That sounds like a good idea. You gotta be careful down there-
戈尔曼 -戈罗甘
Gorman! – G-Grogan.
戈尔登 垃圾场发生火灾
Groden. There’s a fire in the county dump
甲烷泄漏 -甲烷吗
Methane leak. – Methane?
要两大段的采访记录
Yeah. I want two paragraphs for the blotter.
甲烷现场 伍德沃德·伯恩斯坦
Methane. Woodward and Bernstein,
都眼馋
Eat your heart out.
那么养哪种狗呢
What kind of dog?
还记得凯罗琳不 -那护士吗
You remember Caroline? – The nurse?
她以前是护理学校教师 可能吧
She was a nursery school teacher. I don’t know.
反正她有一条叫黛西的好狗
Anyway, she had this great dog- Daisy.
是个拉布拉拉犬犬
It was a labradoodle.
拉布拉拉犬 你是说拉布拉多犬吧
Labradoodle? You mean a labrador.
对 给她个拉布拉多犬养
All right. Get her a labrador.
就像养孩子 但是更好管
Supposed to be just like kids, only easier to train.
拉布拉拉犬 拜托
Labradoodle? Come on.
这里闻起来不像IHop餐厅啊
This does not smell like an I hop.
我知道 之前我们会有个小小惊喜的
I know. We got a little surprise first.
咱们走吧 老婆 我要带你向右走
Here we go. Now, I want you to walk right here, my dear.
好吧
Okay.
来吧 -天
Come on. – Oh, god.
你是戈罗甘吗 -对
You Grogan? – Yes.
等你一个小时了 -你一定会喜欢的
Expected you an hour ago. – You’re gonna like this.
好了 上台阶
Okay, step up.
抱歉 这里很乱
Sorry about the mess
还很吵 臭哄哄的 -怎么回事啊
And the noise and the smell. – What’s happening?
拜托
Come on.
我能看吗 -不不 等 快到了
Can I look? – No, no. Just-Almost. Almost.
好的 准备好没 -真的吗
Okay. Okay. Ready? – Really?
1 2 3 生日快乐
One, two, three. Go. Happy birthday.

What?
天 真可爱
God, they’re adorable.
我过生日还有一个月呢
Oh, my- My birthday’s not for a month.
没关系 他们3周之内也离不开这里
That’s okay. They can’t leave for three weeks anyway.
我们没说过这事
We didn’t discuss this.
我知道 但这多令人惊喜啊
I know, but it’s a surprise. You can’t.
狗狗们好 -我上月刚收养了狗妈妈
Hi, guys. – Just adopted the mom last month.
扔她的那家甚至不知道她怀狗崽了
Family that gave her up didn’t even know she was pregnant.
确定我们能养活狗狗吗 -像我跟你说的
Are you sure we’re ready for this? – Well, like I told you…
它们要在这里断奶三周
You gotta wait three weeks for them to
才能带回你家
Be weaned before you can bring ’em home.
到时我都来不了 -为什么
I’m not even gonna be here. – Why?
我正在盖恩斯维尔报道审判呢 -那很好
I’ll be in Gainesville, covering that trial. – Oh, that’s right.
没关系 趁这机会我和狗狗好好独处
That’s okay. It’ll give me a chance to bond with him…
训练它开个好头 -也对
And get a head start on training ’em – That’s true.
在你回家前管的它服服帖帖的 -也对
Get ’em squared away before you get home. – That’s true.
那我们挑哪只呢 -母的300
Well, how are we gonna pick one? – Girls are 300.
公的275
Boys are 275.
那个小东西例外 他嘛
Except for that little guy there. Him
你给200就成
You could have for 200 even.
这只吗 你真可爱呀
This one? You’re so sweet.
你真有点象清♥仓♥狗狗
You’re like a little clearance puppy.
你好吗 狗狗 -这只喜欢你
Hello, puppy. – This one likes you.
清♥仓♥狗狗喜欢你
Clearance puppy likes you.
好 它是你们的了
Well, that’s your guy.
不管怎样我就要带你走了
I was gonna pick you anyway.
别告诉其他狗狗 别让它们听到
Don’t tell anybody. Don’t tell the others.
有麻烦了 老婆 时间不多了
We gotta double. Time it just a little here, honey.
真希望我不必去 -开玩笑吗
Really wish I didn’t have to go. – Are you kidding me?
多棒的机会 你跟这审判都8个月了呢
It’s gonna be great. You spent eight months on this trial.
说实话 我眼馋死了 -真的吗
Honestly, I’m jealous. – Really?
是逃税案子让你眼馋了吗
Tax evasion? That’s what makes you jealous?
对 比减速坝还诱人
Well, it’s sexier than speed bumps.
好吧 狗狗到咱家后给我打电♥话♥ -一定
Okay, you call me the minute you get him home. – Okay. Okay.
也需要给狗狗起个名字
We also have to come up with a name for him.
好的 动动脑筋
Yes. Let’s brainstorm it.
你没在家这段时间我叫他清♥仓♥狗狗
I’ll just call him clearance puppy till you get back.
你自己能过好吗
Are you gonna be okay?
你担心我一人管不了一只狗吗
You’re worried about me with a puppy?
是啊 -我可是牛人约翰·戈罗甘
I am. – Me, John friggin’ Grogan?
我知道 -拜拜 我爱你 你真美
I know. – Good-Bye. I love you. You look pretty.
谢谢 我爱你 拜 -好的 拜
Thank you. I love you. Bye. – Okay. Bye.
伙计 干啥呢
How ya doin’ there, buddy?
真是你的大日子呀
Kind of a big day for you.
一起来听收音机
Let’s listen to the radio.
没声音真尴尬
Awkward silences.
你喜欢鲍勃·马利吗[雷鬼乐教父]
You like that? You like Bob Marley?
鲍勃 是个好名字不
Bob. That be a good name?
鲍勃 鲍勃 过来过来 还是罗伯特好点呢
Bob. Bob. Come here, Bob. Or Robert?
年纪大了听上去更有尊严
When you got older. More dignified.
马利
Marley?
你喜欢那个
You like that.
真是不错
That has a nice ring to it.
好的 行了
Okay. Come on
你还是在副驾驶做护卫好了
It’s better if you ride shotgun.
因为我们不想
Because we don’t wanna have a car crash
在共度的第一天就撞车
Our first real day together.
好吧 过来过来
Okay, come here. Come here.
大日子 你可以过来开车
It’s a big day. You can ride over here.
只有今天可以 仅此一次
Maybe it’s okay today. Just this one time.
要是被逮住 我们可以解释
We get pulled over, we explain
我们可以解释下情况
We explain what the circumstances are.
怎么回事 -米勒家被抢了
What happened? – The Millers got robbed.
又被抢了吗 有只看家狗真好啊
Again? Good thing I got a watchdog.
伙计 它牙齿蛮锋利的
Hey, buddy. He’s got some teeth.

Oh, yeah.
我要给弄他点水喝

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