埃文
Evan.
埃文 天呐
Evan, oh, my God.
-你好吗 贝卡 -你怎么样
– What’s up, Becca? – How the hell are you?
-很高兴见到你 -很高兴见到你
– Hiya. Nice to see you. – Good to see you.
-你过得怎么样 -嗯 都挺好的
– How’s everything? – Yeah, I mean, it’s going.
什么鬼
What the hell?
他怎么会认识她
How the hell does he know her?
他是本地人吗
Is he from here?
加里 看看他的鞋 多明显
Gary, look at his shoes. I mean, really.
我们要感谢艾伦让我们
And we have Alan to thank for bringing this man
-注意到了这个人 -我叫埃文
– to our attention. – It’s Evan.
我有没有提到…
Did I happen to mention that…
妈的
Holy shit.
-怎么了 怎么了 -快来
– What? What? – Come on!
100%的选票统计完毕
So, with 100% of the vote counted,
市长竞选打成平手
the mayoral race is tied.
一票不差
One vote to one vote.

No.
不不不不不不
Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
等等 等等 等一下 等一下
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
等一下
Hold on. I, uh…
我不太明白
I don’t… I don’t know exactly
这里是怎么回事 但很奇怪
what’s going on here, but it’s weird.
谁能跟我解释一下
Could somebody please explain to me
-发生了什么吗 -我们进行了选举
– what’s happening? – Well, we had an election.
-这我知道 -我们尽力了
– Yes, I know that. – And we gave it our best.
但是没成功
Just didn’t work out.
没成功 杰克 拜托
Didn’t work out, Jack? Come on.
你知道我们投入了多少钱吗
Do you know how much money we invested in this?
嗯 如果新闻媒体可信的话
Yeah, if the news media is to be believed,
你们二位总共筹集了超过4500万美元
more than $45 million was raised between the two of you.
妈的
Oh, shit.
杰克 你骗了我
Did you sucker me, Jack?
大概吧
I guess.
抱歉了 大伙
You know what? Folks, sorry,
我要把钱全收回来
but I’m getting all that money back.
从哪收回
From where?
我们为那些政♥治♥行动委员会投入了数百万美元
We put millions into those PACs.
竞选财政法规定
Well, campaign finance law says
不用说明那笔钱的用途
that money needn’t be accounted for.
天啊
Oh, my God.
我不得不佩服这地方
I got to give it to this place.
艾伦
Hey, Alan.
我叫埃文
Uh, it’s Evan.
卑鄙小人
Shit weasel.
你是本地人 对吧
You’re from this town, aren’t you?
-对 -这都是你设计的
– Yeah. – You set this whole thing up.
你设计我
You set me up, huh?
你被开除了 你要进监狱了
You are so fired, and you’re going to jail!
是我 我♥干♥的
It was me. I did it.

You?
什…
Wh…
为什么
Why?
就是…
You know…
因为这镇子需要钱
it was just this weird idea I had
我想了个奇怪的主意
’cause the town needed money.
所以你…
So you…
拍了视频
Uh, shot the video,
让埃文拿给你看
and then had Evan show it to you.
我…
Uh, I…
我们这三年需要75万美元
We needed 750 grand over three years
来阻止学校关门
to keep the school from closing down.
远远超出目标
We blew way past that.
我们有足够的钱买♥♥回基地 重新开♥发♥
We got enough to buy back the base, redevelop it.
那段发言呢 火了的那段
And the speech, the viral speech?
我提议进行投票表决
Can I get a motion to vote?
其实我是来…
Actually, I’m here about that…
操 忘词了 决议案
Fuck, what’s the word? Resolution.
-我能行 -迈克 你能帮他把…
– I’ll get it. – Mike, do you want to help him and…

Yeah.
弄低点
Just have it low enough.
给那个路标留出足够的空间
Just leave enough room for that road sign in there.
-我应该戴着这个吗 -不戴眼镜
– Uh, am I supposed to have these on? – No glasses.
我迷茫了
I’m lost.
好了 爸 这样就可以
Okay, Dad, that’s good,
但你说完之后得离开
but you have to leave after.
好 再来一遍
All right, one more time.
我想那就算不上原则
I guess they weren’t principles.
只是爱好罢了
They’re just hobbies.
天啊 拍好了
Holy shit, I think we got it.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
真的只是诱你们上钩而已
That was really just baiting the hook.
接下来的事都是你们干的 我没想到她会来
You guys took it from there. I was never expecting her.
我玩得可开心了
Oh, I had a fucking blast.
你利用了我
So you used me.
我们利用你
We used you?
你们这些家伙四年才来一次
You guys only show up here once every four years,
因为这是个摇摆州
and only then ’cause it’s a swing state.
等选举结束 你们就走了
And then, when it’s over, you’re gone.
但我们还在这里
But we’re still here
该解决的问题一个也没解决
with all the same problems we had before,
等着你们再次回来
just waiting around for you to come back
做出和上次一样的空头承诺
and make the same empty promises as last time.
我们利用了体制
We used the system.
通过给选举经济
You make millions of dollars
注入数千万美元
funneling tens of millions of dollars
你们赚取数百万美元
into this election economy.
我们只是分一杯羹
All we did is take a cut.
好吧
Well…
我只是
I guess I just…
我还以为咱俩之间有点什么
I thought that maybe you and I had a little something.
我才28
I’m 28. I mean…
这种关系放到哪都不合适吧
In what world would this be okay?
华盛顿 洛杉矶 纽约一些地方
D.C. and L.A., parts of New York,
迈阿密 达拉斯可能也行
Miami, maybe Dallas.
听着
Look…
别往心里去
It wasn’t personal.
这是数学
It was math.
数学
Math.
但是这个体制 我们选举的方式
But this system, the way we elect people,
太可怕了
it’s terrifying.
而且令人疲惫
And exhausting.
我觉得我们都要被逼疯了
And I think it’s driving us all insane.
你知道真正的问题是什么吗
You know what the real problem here
这种事上媒体完全就是同谋
is that the media is completely complicit in this sort of thing.
我完全同意
I absolutely agree.
尼尔·波兹曼说过
I mean, it’s like Neil Postman said…
在我们娱乐自己的时候
in entertaining ourselves,
-新闻已经变成了娱乐 -没错
– news has become entertainment. – Yeah. Yeah.
-等到那时 就完蛋了 -没错
– And when that happens… it’s gone. – Yeah.
我以为他发现了 每次他来店里
I thought he knew. I mean, I would get so nervous
-我就很紧张 我会… -不
– every time he would come in. I would just, like… – Oh, no.
我会做错咖啡
I couldn’t get my coffee order right,
-给他上错东西 -你做得很好
– and I was giving him the wrong thing. – Oh, you were great.
做得很完美
You were perfect.
而且你知道
Plus, you know, he has, you know,
他的眼睛很迷人 我就…
dreamy eyes a little bit, so, I mean…
-是的 -他太帅了
– Yeah. – He’s-he’s dashing.
他把我弄哭了
He actually made me cry.
-他真是个白♥痴♥ -是啊
– He was, like, a shithead. – Yeah.

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