但是我有个很好的朋友
I do, however, have a very good
friend over at University Hospital,
她最擅长处理这种男性的假想症
who specializes in male menopause
and testosterone depletion.
她非常能干
我现在就给她打个电♥话♥
She’s fabulous. I think what I’ll do
is just give her a ring…
把你转给她
and send you over there.
为什么我要去开门呢
不知道线上的拍怎么样了
Why did I answer my door? I was so
into buying that lamp on eBay.
已经喊价到多少了
什么喊价没多少了?
– How much was it going for?
– How much was what going for?
线上拍卖♥♥的那盏灯
The lamp on eBay.
噢,我知道了
不错,很聪明
Oh, I see. That’s good.
Very clever.
请转高蒙医生,谢谢
好吧,你不相信我,那就再试试别的
– Dr. Skolnick, please.
– You don’t believe me. Try another.
试试嘛,想个数字,任何数字
Go on. Pick a number.
Give it a whirl. Any number.
好吧,一个从1到…
Okay. A number
between one and…
到100万都可以,随便
从1到100万
– A million. Why not?
– One and a million.
好吧
All right.

Mm.
6♥4♥4,998… 99… 90.
6♥4♥4,998… 99… 90.
现在你信了吗?
Wanna make a decision here?
我的天
你可以再说一次
– Oy vay!
– Oh, you can say that again.
我什么也没说
我知道,但并不表示我听不到
– I didn’t say anything.
– Doesn’t mean I didn’t hear it.
好吧,好吧,就算我相信你
Okay. Okay. Let’s say…
Let’s say I do believe you.
好的
相信你能听到女人在想什么
– Yeah.
– You can hear what women think.
虽然我已经51岁了
Even though I’m a grown
woman of… 51.
不,47岁
我绝不会告诉任何人
– 47.
– Oh, my lips are sealed.
这个混旦
噢,对不起
Holy crap!
Oh, forgive me.
没关系
这真是太神奇了
– That’s all right.
– But this is phenomenal.
你可以听到我在想什么
是的
– You can hear inside my head.
– Yes.
你却想要毁掉这种神奇能力
Why would you want to get rid
of such a brilliant gift?
可是,首先
Well, for starters,
几乎每一个我认识的女人
都认为我是个混旦
almost every woman I know
thinks I’m an asshole.
我见到你的时候也是这么认为的
让我在这休息会
– What I thought when I met you.
– Doc, give me a break here.
马修,你可能会觉得异常
Mr. Marshall, you might
find this a little unorthodox,
但是如果我抽烟,你会非常介意吗?
but would you mind
awfully if I smoked?
不,不,我明白
谢谢,太感谢了
– No, no, I understand.
– Thank you. Thank you so much.
让我们看看这上面,看到没?
Let’s try to look at
the up side of this, shall we?
你知道,弗洛依德在临死前
一直想知道一个答案
You know, Freud died at age 83
still asking one question,
女人想要些什么
“What do women want?”
如果你是世界上
唯一一个能够回答这个问题的人
Wouldn’t it be strange and wonderful
if you were the one man on Earth…
这是多么神奇啊
finally able to answer
that question?
听我说,尼克
有些事非常奇特
Listen to me, Nick.
Something extraordinary…
我认为是不可思意的
事情发生在你身上
and I think miraculous
has happened to you.
我的建议是
你一定要从中学到些什么
My advice is
you must learn from this.
你知道,有那个单身女人不希望
You know, there isn’t
a single woman that I treat…
她的男人能够多理解她一些?
that doesn’t wish her man
understood her better.
男人来自火星,女人来自金星
而你会说金星语
If men are from Mars and women are
from Venus and you speak Venusian,
这个世界都是你的了
the world can be yours.
我不知道为什么这件事
会发生在你身上
I don’t know how this
happened to you or why,
但是你也许是地球上
最幸运的男人了
but you may just be
the luckiest man on Earth.
想想你的前途吧
Imagine the possibilities.
如果你知道女人在想些什么
If you know
what women want,
你就掌握了一切
you can rule.
看吧,看吧,他又来了
今天看上去特别精神
Hubba-hubba, here he
comes, looking awfully good today.
我已经4个月没有做过爱了
好吧,6个月
And I haven’t had sex
in four months. Okay, six.
什么时候他才能不再来烦我
Why did I tell him to stop
asking me out? I’m an idiot!
笨旦,笨旦
Idiot! Idiot!
嗨,尼克,你好吗
Hey, Nick, how’s it going?
哈罗,我的爱人
我不能让你再拒绝我了
Lola, my love.
I can’t take no for an answer.
拒绝你什么?
About what?
– About what?
我们的事
About us.
不要再伤害我
尼克,我被伤害过很多次了
Just don’t hurt me, Nick.
I’ve been hurt too many times.
我知道接受一个新人有难
I know how hard it is
to go out with someone new.
我是说每个人都会有担心的时候
I mean, there’s always
that fear of,
嗯,受伤害
well, getting hurt.
至少我心里是这么想的
你真的这么想吗?
– At least that’s how I feel inside.
– You do, really?
当然是这么想的
我也总是这么想
– All the time.
– Me, too, all the time.
让我们慢慢来吧
看这会怎样
Let’s just take it slow
and see how it goes.
慢慢来好
Slow is good.
慢慢来很好
Slow is really good.
是啊
你今天晚上有时候吗?
– Yeah.
– Are you free tonight?
你从来没认为过我是同性恋吗
你从来没有过?
So, you don’t think I’m gay?
You’re saying you never said that?
没有,我从来没这么说过
但并不表示你不这么想
– I never said that.
– Doesn’t mean you didn’t think it.
我的头发?
我的头发是很自然的
Is it the hair? The highlights
happen to be natural.
我马上要去参加个会议
你认为我薪水不高?
– Morgan, I have a meeting.
– You don’t think I’m overpaid?
你没说过
我想我没说过
– You never said that.
– I don’t think I ever said that.
好的
Okay.
他在和谁说话?
Who has he been talking to?
早上好
早上好
– Morning.
– Morning.
记得看你的电子邮件
Well, then check your E-mail.
I sent it over…
嗨,安妮
你那以色列男朋友怎么样了?
Hi, Annie.
How’s the boyfriend in Israel?
谢谢你的酒
I want to thank you
for picking up that wine.
超正点,
我非常感谢,谢谢你
That’s above and beyond.
I appreciate it so much. Thank you.
你要咖啡吗?
Uh, can I get you

你的评论可以尖锐,也可以湿疣!