足迹（1972）

Made by Owen and Tancredi of Percy Street.
制♥作♥给麦洛·廷德先生 11月12号♥
For Mr Milo Tindle. November 12.
告诉我 先生
Tell me, sir.
廷德先生 如果像你所说的夹着尾巴逃回了家
When Mr Tindle lurched off, as you put it,
难道他是光着身子的吗
did he lurch naked?
难道他光着身子穿过了村子的街道?
And did he subsequently lurch naked through the streets of the village?
他换了一套衣服 把这套衣服落在这里了
He changed back before he left into these clothes.
那么你是不是还坚持
Do you still maintain, sir, that Mr Tindle
廷德先生在地窖里 换上了小丑服装?
changed into the clown’s costume in the cellar?
是的 – 这算是
Yes. – Another part
羞辱的另一部分
of the humiliation process, I suppose.
那么肯定是有人在地窖里拿上了这套衣服
Then someone must have carried his clothing up from the cellar,
塞在这个衣柜里面
and placed them in this wardrobe.
我♥干♥的 – 为什么?
I did. – Why?
因为我觉得放衣柜里
Because I thought they’d be better off in a wardrobe
一个脏兮兮的地下室里要好些 要方便些
than a dusty old cellar. More convenient.
都拧在一起放在这个衣柜的底层 为什么?
All screwed up on the floor of a wardrobe? Why?
我想着用不了多久他就会回来换衣服
I didn’t think it wouldn’t be long before he’d be changing back.
噢 解释真费劲 – 根本不是这样 先生
It’s all so baffling. – Not at all, sir.
你将衣服塞在衣柜下面
You threw those clothes on the floor of the wardrobe
是因为你知道廷德先生这辈子也用不上这些衣服了
because you knew that Mr Tindle would not be needing them again.
再也用不上了 对不对 先生
Ever! That’s right, sir, isn’t it?
他在走之前换回来 走的时候就穿了那套衣服
He changed back before he left and wore them when he went away.
我想你一开始
I think you started this
也正像你自己所说的一样
exactly as you say you did.
只想做一个游戏给廷德 设一个凶险的圈套
As a game, in order to play a diabolical trick on Mr Tindle,
但出了差错
but that it went wrong.
你的第三枪 并非如你想的那样是空枪
Your third shot was not a blank as you had supposed,
而是一枚真的子弹
but a live bullet, that killed Mr Tindle
把廷德先生杀死了
stone dead!
当时就有一些血渍喷在栏杆上
Spattering blood on the banisters in the process.
然后 当你意识到自己做了什么好事之后
Then, when you realised what you’d done,
你吓坏了
you simply panicked,
就像你以前的千千万万的谋杀者一样
like a thousand murderers before you,
随后把尸体埋在花♥园♥里
and buried the corpse in the garden.
你真是太蠢了
It was very silly of you
没有把栏杆的血迹清洗掉
not to clean the blood properly off the banisters
也没有把他的衣服烧掉 – 我发誓 廷德走的时候还活着
and burn his clothes. – I swear, Tindle left here alive!
就目前的情况来看 先生
At the risk of appearing facetious, sir,
这句话我看你最好是说给法官听吧
you had better tell that to the judge.
好了 现在只有一条路可以解决了
Look, there’s only one way of dealing with this.
看在上帝的份上 如果你认为廷德是在花♥园♥里
If you think Tindle’s out in the garden,
为什么不把他挖出来看看呢
for Christ’s sake, why don’t you go dig him up?
我们没有必要找到他 先生
We don’t need to find him, sir.
如果廷德先生不是在那堆新土的下面
If Mr Tindle is not beneath that newly turned earth,
这只能证明你在惊慌之下
it would merely go to indicate that in your panic
你开始想把他放那里
you first thought of putting him there,
然后改了主意换了一个地方
changed your mind and buried him somewhere else.
哪里? – 噢 这并不重要 先生
Where? – That’s not important, sir.
我们迟早会找到他的
He’ll turn up, sooner or later.
如果没有的话 也没关系
And if he doesn’t, it scarcely matters.
我们有你给廷德的信
We have your note summoning Mr Tindle here.
听到的枪声 还有子弹孔
Shots were heard, bullet holes made.
以及在栏杆和地毯上的血迹
Blood is on the banisters and the carpet.
还有藏在你衣柜下面的衣服
His clothes were hidden in your wardrobe,
还有他失踪了
and he had disappeared.
要一具尸体还有什么用
Who needs a body?
先生
Sir.
走吧
Come along, then.
现在是时候了 – 不 我简直不敢相信…
It’s time to go, sir. – No. I can’t believe it…
恐怕我必须坚持 先生
I’m afraid, sir, that I must insist.
在车道尽头有一辆警车
There is a police car at the end of the driveway.
你把一个警局的车都调来我也不在乎
I don’t care if there’s a fleet of police cars,
我哪儿也不去
I’m not bloody well going!
不要惹麻烦 先生
Now, let’s have no…
老实点 – 你把我的手弄痛了
Please, don’t make it difficult. – Christ, you’re hurting my arm!
我没有办法 如果你安静一点的话
Really, you give me no alternative, sir. If you’ll just cooperate.
我要叫我的律师 这是我的权力
Let me get my lawyer. It’s my right!
你可以在警♥察♥局给他打电♥话♥
We can make a call from the police station.
我们可不想再节外生枝
We wouldn’t want to do anything unconstitutional.
好了 先生 不要绝望
Come now, sir. Don’t despair.
情况好的话 坐七年牢你也就出来了
You may get off with as little as seven years.
七年!
Seven years!
七年的时间让你后悔
Seven years to regret the playing of silly games
你搞砸了你的游戏 – 我谈谈我的观点
that go wrong. – Spare me the sermon if you don’t mind!
我一点都没搞砸 一切都进行的很好
It didn’t go wrong, it all went bloody well right.
你是这么认为的 是吗 先生?
You think so, do you, sir?
我们这些现实中的警♥察♥
We real life policemen are not as stupid
并非都像你们这些作家描述的那般愚蠢
as we are sometimes portrayed by writers like yourself.
我们或许没有单片眼镜
We may not have our monocles,
种满兰花的住♥宅♥以及猎鹿人 还有铁铲帽
or our orchid houses, our deer stalkers or our shovel hats,
但我们办案却很有效率 先生
but we are reasonably effective, for all that, sir.
你好像读过很多关于侦探的小说 巡官
You seem to know a hell of a lot about detective stories, Inspector.
是的 闲暇时读过不少 先生
Yes, I have read quite a few in my time, sir.
这几年里我开始相信 侦探小说
And in recent years, I have come to believe that the detective story
只是贵族的娱乐消遣罢了 先生
is the normal recreation of noble minds, sir.
你 你到底是谁
Who or what the hell are you?
侦探多普勒 先生
Detective Inspector Doppler, sir.
读起来有点像多普勒
It is spelt like “doppel”,
但事实上我想你应该知道 他在德语里
which, as I’m sure you know, means “double”,
它是”双重”的意思
in German.
对于那些很喜欢玩这种游戏的人
And for those whose minds run to these things,
事实上
it is virtually an anagram
是颠倒过来的词
of the word
普拉德
“plodder”.
所以
So.
普拉德巡官
Inspector Plodder
变成了
becomes.
多普勒巡官
Inspector Doppler,
如果你明白我的意思的话
if you see what I mean,
先生
sir.
麦洛
Milo!
是我
The same.
你这王八蛋
You shit.
你这该死 超级王八蛋 麦洛
You all-time, knock-down, champion bastard, Milo.
多谢夸奖
You’re too kind.
我无法否认你做的实在是太漂亮了
I’m not saying it wasn’t well done, it was extremely.
真的聪明绝顶
Yes, well, the thing was brilliant.
顺便说一句 你忘了把右眼摘下来
Incidentally, you forgot to take out your left eye.
现在他知道我很有趣了
Now he knows I’m funny.
喝一杯吧 麦洛
Do have a drink, Milo.
你自己来吧
I’m sorry. Do help yourself.
我先要洗个澡 我身上都是化妆品和快干胶水
I’ll have a wash first. I’m covered in makeup and spirit gum.
到厨房♥去吧 – 我喜欢主人的浴室
Of course, use the kitchen. – No, I prefer the master bathroom.
祝你健康 先生
Your very good health, sir.
我得说 祝贺你 麦洛
I must say, I must congratulate you, Milo.
太绝了
It was first class.
有那么一阵子你真的把我蒙住了
You sure had me going there for a while.
有那么一阵子?
For a while?
是的 我承认 是很长一阵子
Well, it was quite a while, I concede.
但在后面我起疑心了 你知道吗
But I got a bit suspicious towards the end, you know?
我想你怎么没完没了了呢
You did go on a bit, I thought.
你觉得我的演技如何
What did you think of my performance?
一个痛苦的无辜的可怜虫 被一大堆证据弄的手足无措
The anguish of the innocent man trapped by circumstantial evidence.
那不是表演 – 当然是的
It wasn’t a performance. – Of course it was.
我为了让你相信
I had to be convincing.
显然 我成功了
Apparently I succeeded.
你只是不想输的太难看了 是不是 安德鲁
You just don’t know how to lose at all, do you, Andrew?
你给多普勒的所有的证据
All that crap you gave old Doppler
你只是想输的体面点罢了
about the gentry losing gracefully.
上帝啊